Why am i gay documentary2/3/2024 ![]() Anyway, as a linguist, what really intrigues me about this kind of exchange is that “seems” is largely a proxy for “sounds”. Maybe people are smarter these days, maybe I’m better at picking parties. I have to admit it hasn’t happened for a few years. The notion you would be pleased to find this out reveals an unthinking prejudice: how refreshing it is to meet a gay who doesn’t make a meal of it. You haven’t – at least in that moment, at that party – exhibited the mannerisms linked in many people’s minds with male homosexuality. What they’re really saying, of course, is that you’re not, in the words of Quentin Crisp, “self-evident”. I can’t easily compute what it means to be gay if it’s not having just identified yourself with that label. “You don’t seem gay.” The smile, with eyebrows raised in approval, tells me it’s supposed to be a compliment, and once again I’m baffled.
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